It’s Hump Day, I’m fresh off my first round of 18 in a month, my newborn is kinda-sorta sleeping at night on his own, and my F-150 never got above 90 degrees yesterday.
Who has it better than me today? Don’t even bother trying to answer that. That answer is nobody. Now, did I just pay off my $6,000 credit card bill from last month? Yep. Sure did. In full, baby. That’s the price of new teeth, I reckon.
Can’t hide money! (mainly because I don’t have any to hide)
Other than that, though – things are looking up. Shot 90 yesterday, but it was a good 90. An honest 90. Sometimes, I shoot 90 and it’s really 95. Yesterday, it was actually 90 with a couple professional approach shots and even one out of the bunker.
I always say I play my best golf after taking some time off, and yesterday was no different. All the problems from before? Gone – at least for the front nine. They started creeping back in on the back, but whatever. I had enough beer in me at that point that it didn’t matter.
On that note, welcome to a Hump Day Nightcaps – the one where we go to BATTLE for MAGA bikini congresswoman, Anna Paulina Luna, and then drift off to sleep with the beautiful tones of one Shania Twain.
Our girl is 59 and looks like she’s 25. What a comeback.
What else? I’ve got Brittany Mahomes acting surprised that Donald Trump lashed out at Taylor Swift (come on, Brit!), Hillary Clinton has somehow come out with her FOURTH memoir (!!!), Carl Winslow stops by and US Open champ Aryna Sabalenka hits the beach after a big month on the court.
Whew. What a menu! Hump Day indeed.
Grab you a cheeseburger for National Cheeseburger Day – what a day! – and settle in for a Wednesday ‘Cap!
Leave our congresswoman ALONE
Longtime students know my take on burgers – specifically, the best one in America. Since football season just started, now seems as good a time as any to remind you just where to find it …
Buffalo Wild Wings. Best burger, hands-down, I’ve ever had. That’s right. BWW. Sound unconventional? Sure. But I zig when others zag. That’s our motto here at Nightcaps. And that’s why we stick up for the Buffalo Wild Wings burger.
And for those who think I’m batshit crazy, let’s revisit this particular email I got a few months back.
From HS AD:
I’m a HS AD going to an away basketball game last night…wanted TX RH but couldn’t find one, so I ended up @ B-Dubs…Was going to hit the Tuesday Night Traditional Wings special (My Go To as Boneless wings suck, IMO)…However, in the back of my mind I was like « One of the dudes from Outkick said ‘Trust me, the B-Dubs burgers are awesome.' »
I thought WTF, and ordered the Bacon Hatch Burger…I had gotten Caribbean Jerk sauce to dip my fries in, and I added it to the existing burger….
It was PHENOMENAL… I am salivating typing this email and remembering it… Thanks for the hot tip, brother… I will be back… If you like Caribbean Jerk @ all, try adding it to your next burger… That’s all, carry on…
Thank you, HS AD!
See? When I put my stamp of approval on something – especially when it comes to food and/or beer – I don’t mess around. I don’t say things just to say them. I’ve never steered you wrong, and I don’t plan on it today.
So, if you’re bored and hungry tonight – and you can afford it in Joe’s economy – go out and get you a BWW burger to celebrate National Cheeseburger Day. Thank me later.
Now, when you’re done with THAT, I want you all to head over to Anna Paulina Luna HQ and guard our MAGA bikini congresswoman with your lives.
This is unacceptable:
Choose your fighter
Leave Anna alone, animals! What the hell is going on in my state right now? First, some psycho goes after Trump, and now they’re going after Anna Paulina Luna. Nope. That’s not what we’re about down here.
We’re a Law & Order state, and we need to start acting like it again. This crap happens in Gavin’s California or crime-riddled Chicago. Not the Sunshine State.
Prayer’s up for Anna! Keep fighting the good fight.
Now, for those of you reading this who don’t care about APL receiving death threats – and that’s none of you, because I’d imagine those people don’t exactly vibe with this class – here’s something more in your lane …
Hillary Clinton has a new book … again!!!
Shania Twain’s new look, Family Matters (!!!) & Brittany Mahomes
It really is such a tell when someone posts something and then immediately limits who can comment. It’s a staple of the left, by the way. Whenever one of those crazies tweets something dumb, they always limit the comments.
You know why? Because they know they’re full of shit. They all know it. Even Hillary Clinton knows it. Remember, she used to be smart. Trump said as much. There was a time when she was actually sane. I promise.
But they’ve all gone so far to the left that nobody can take them seriously anymore. Frankly, they don’t even take themselves seriously anymore.
Anyway, if you’re interested in learning more about Hillary’s reflections on her own life, go buy you a copy today! You’re welcome, Hillary. And welcome to class! You’ll love it here. We all hate you.
OK, rapid-fire time on this Hump Day in September. First up? While we’re on the topic of people who were very relevant in the 1990s, how about Shania Twain wrapping up her recent Las Vegas residency with an absolute HEATER:
Whoaaaaaaaaaa Nellie!! Shania Twain coming in HOT at 59. Looks nothing and I mean NOTHING like she did back in the 1990s when she was it when it came to country music stars, but I don’t hate this look, either. It’s called growing and evolving, folks. Look it up.
Love this Shania Twain. Can’t wait to see what’s next.
Speaking of things – again!! – from the 1990s:
My goodness. Reginald VelJohnson is BACK, baby! If you didn’t like Shania’s new look at 59, you probably prefer Reginald at 72. Ain’t nothing fake about that. He’s just going with the flow and letting nature run its course.
PS: Family Matters is one of the most underrated sitcoms of all time. There, I said it.
PPS: the Family Matters opening? It’s a Hall of Fame banger:
I mean, it’s just the best. I used to get up at 6 a.m. every single day to watch some combination of Family Matters and Full House on the fatback TV in our living room. The best.
Finally … let’s jet back to 2024 (sad) and check in with Brittany Mahomes’ Donald Trump allegiance:
Take us home, Aryna Sabalenka
Brittany Mahomes is ‘deeply bothered’ by Donald Trump’s very public attack on her close friend Taylor Swift, according to sources who claim the Kansas City Chiefs WAG is questioning her support for the former president.
Brittany sparked a liberal meltdown last month when she liked a post about Trump, 78, on social media.
Weeks later, Taylor, 34, publicly endorsed Kamala Harris’ bid for president.
Trump hit back in predictably blistering style on his Truth Social platform, claiming ‘I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT’ – prompting Brittany, 29, to ‘question’ if she will continue to endorse his campaign.
‘She does not believe in hate in any form and loves Taylor so much,’ the insider continued. ‘This shook her to the core.’
They added: ‘This doesn’t mean she is suddenly voting Kamala. It has just made her more aware of supporting him so publicly.’
Brittany … come on. This didn’t « shake you to the core. » There’s just no chance Donald Trump sending out a mean tweet shook you to your core. If it did – yeah, maybe Trump ain’t the president for you. It’s sort of his calling card. Let’s not be dramatic here.
OK, that’s it for today. Shape up, Brit. We have an election win. Eye on the prize.
Take us home, US Open women’s champ, Aryna Sabalenka. And welcome to class!!
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
You trying a BWW burger tonight? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.