On the less-scientific end of things, I’d tried Reiki. Hypnotherapy. Yoga. Acupuncture. One Manhattan-based Shaman laid me down on a buffalo skin and fanned me with feathers while she extracted my inner demons.

Rien n’a fonctionné. For almost two decades, I lived disconnected from my body. The world around me looked dull and dream-like. I felt virtually no pain, physical or emotional. I also felt no empathy, connection, or love.

vouloir

cottonbro studio | Pixels

. The scientific definition: a proven psychotherapy technique that uses

Liza Summer | Pixels

Left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right, left. Cela s’est arrêté.

« Rien. » Per usual.

We went again. Et encore. After the third time, I was ready to mentally toss EMDR into the ever-growing pile of techniques that couldn’t fix me. And then it happened.

Antoni Shkraba | Pixels

I’m back in my body. The world around me looks vivid and solidified. Je ressens tout. I’m not as calm or motivated or logical as I used to be — but it’s worth it.